NANOWAR OF STEEL parody once again the great bands and the fan community of metal on their fifth album „Dislike To False Metal“. The Italians are especially targeting haters, posers and humorless genre defenders, whom they get on their nerves with the greatest of pleasure. With vocalist Mr Baffo, guitarist Mohammed Abdul and bassist Gatto Panceri 666 we talk about the power to piss these people off so easily, the progressive self-parody of Manowar and the invention of the telephone.
Hello, thank you for taking time to do this interview. How are you these days?
Mr Baffo: good, I feel like a mountain jellyfish.
Abdul: Pretty good.
Gatto: Better than tomorrow, I didn’t have time to exist tomorrow yet.
Your album is called “Dislike To False Metal”. What is false metal to you?
Mr Baffo: The one that looks like a $6 Bill.
Abdul: False metal is, by definition, anything that the man who is giving the definition doesn’t like.
Gatto: This question.
Some first time listeners to Nanowar Of Steel might just ask: “Why?” Is there a proper answer to this question?
Mr Baffo: Yes but i don’t wanna make any spoilers. Or you can just ask yourself “why not?”
Abdul: Yes. I mean, that’s the answer.
Gatto: Because.
„Disco Metal“ is neither disco nor metal. What is actually going on there?
Mr Baffo: Cause Disco Metal it’s not blue, neither yellow. It’s Blellow!
Abdul: It’s going that we are trying so desperately to make metal boomers angry at us that the thing got a little bit out of hand.
The video for „Disco Metal“ is practically a Zombie Helloween video with “Thriller”-moves and was released shortly before Valentine’s Day. Is this your subtle meta-criticism of the mindless consumer society and such commercial holidays?
Mr Baffo: I’m not gonna tell you that it’s right or wrong, because art has a different meaning depending on the viewer. For example, to me the song is talking about the invention of the telephone.
Abdul: Of course, we stand against mindless consumers of dead corpses during Valentine’s day. How dare you?
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How important is it to stay childish and kinda simple-minded when being an adult with so many responsibilities?
Mr Baffo: A lot, especially when I have responsibilities like incoming invoices. My childish side draws a massive cock on them.
Abdul: I don’t know, I should ask to an adult!
Gatto: Don’t call me adult never ever again.
You are addressing internet trolls and the like in “Metal Boomer Batallion”. How does it feel to have so much power to piss off these people so easily?
Mr Baffo: Aaahhhh it’s so good, so good….
Abdul: We are definitely proud of it!
Gatto: That was the whole point of starting the band 20 years ago, and I am very happy it’s still working nowadays!
What was the meanest, most hateful message or comment you received?
Mr Baffo: personally is this “Why don’t you get a job instead of jumping on a stage with a wig and a tutù?” That comment was from my mom.
Abdul: still better than Twilight.
Gatto: „What is the original of this one?“ referring to any of our Manowar/Rhapsody/etc. parody songs, assuming it was not written by us. Still happens all the time!
Are the reactions to your music very different depending on the country of the listeners? Some countries are more conservative or open than others, do you notice significant differences in how you are accepted and received?
Mr Baffo: I’m gonna give you the most typical Mr Baffo’s style answer. You don’t need to know the country of origin of the person you are kissing. If that person is still kissing you then nothing matters.
Abdul: We got pissed by metalheads quite everywhere. That’s why we keep on doing it!
Gatto: Yes.
Manowar just released their new song “Laut und hart stark und schnell” and it feels like Manowar are making a Manowar parody song. What do you think of this song? Are you afraid that they will soon call themselves Manowar Of Steel and try to steal your parody job?
Mr Baffo: Hahahahhahahahahahahahaha ┻━┻︵└(՞▽՞ └)
Abdul: It’s hard to answer to this question without risking to be killed by Italian surnamed bass players.
Gatto: Let me talk about a different song, a song in Gemran called Luat und hrat, strak und schenll“ by ManwoaR. Well, that song is a huge stinking pile of garbage that would have been too stupid and shitty to be featured even on our first demo. About the song you mentioned, it is absolutely great! Amazing! Fantastic! I really needed it in my life.
You yourselves also like to sing in German, for example in „Schwanzwald“ or the hilarious „Käptn Iglo“. Why is German a good language for you and your music?
Mr Baffo: It’s not about the language, or the people. It’s about the willingness to party, and the Germans are as willing to party as we are. However, I had never used the word willingness before.
Abdul: Because It’s spoken in places full of people that buy metal albums!
Gatto: Weil ich Deutsch kann da ich in Deutschland gewohnt habe. Also ich finde Deutsch cool und ab und zu mag ich auch Lieder auf Deutsch zu schreiben!
Was the Italian team from “Pasadena 1994” the last great team of heroes and even better than the 2006 oder 2021 team, despite them winning the world and European cups?
Mr Baffo: I don’t want to talk about it, personally the history of that world championship gives me the same pain that some people still feel talking about the Punic Wars.
Abdul: I personally think that the best team over the last 3 decades has been the one in France 98. We lost anyway at the penalties.
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Joakim Broden seems like the most obvious choice for a football war song, but what connection does Madeleine Liljestam have to dandruffs? How was it to work with both of them?
Mr Baffo: You miss the point of our choice, we choose them because we needed to make a high quality product. And because they are both Swedish then you see by yourself that quality originates in Sweden. Like IKEA. Can you see the pattern now?
Abdul: Women tend to suffer less baldness than men, and tend to have loger lives. This makes them way more conscious than men about the problem of scalp hygiene. We wanted to put this know-how in the song, and Madeleine did an outstanding job.
Is dandruff a serious problem, especially in metal, because of the often long hair? What can metalheads do about this problem?
Mr Baffo: Surely metalheads can follow these expedients:
1. Anti-Dandruff Shampoo that contains ingredients like active zinc, selenium sulfide, ketoconazole.
2. Tea Tree Oil, because it has antifungal and antibacterial properties that can help to reduce dandruff.
3. Apple cider vinegar helps to restore the normal pH balance on the scalp, and reduce the growth of the yeast. Mix equal parts of apple cider vinegar and water, and apply it on your scalp. Leave it for 15-30 minutes before rinsing it off.
4. Aloe Vera. Aloe Vera has anti-inflammatory and antifungal properties that can help to soothe an itchy scalp and reduce dandruff. Apply fresh Aloe Vera gel to your scalp and leave it on for 15-20 minutes before rinsing it off.
5.Eating foods that contain Omega-3 fatty acids. It Helps to reduce inflammations inside your body, which can help to reduce dandruff. and finally
6. Reduce your stress. Stress can trigger dandruff, so it’s important to find ways to manage stress. Try techniques like meditation, deep breathing, yoga, mixed martial arts, parachuting, bungee jumping, climbing Mount Everest and so on.
Abdul: The first step could be stop recording black metal videos in forests full of dandruff!
I saw you at Summer Breeze last year: The area in front of the little stage was so packed with people and then it started raining like absolute hell. How have you experienced this gig and the whole festival?
Mr Baffo: It has been a festival with a lot of humidity and happiness. Great crowd and joy. Joy everywhere, rain and joy, joy and rain. Dancing with water in my eyes.
Abdul: Up to now, the summer breeze has been one of my favorite gigs ever in my short carreer. That has been the first time I saw a complete IKEA crowd surfing: one of our fans managed to stand up on an IKEA table we launched on the crowd. Crazy.
Gatto: Absolutely agree with Abdul, I had almost zero expectations for our show (I guess the organizers did, too, as they placed us in the Ficken stage around noon, which is not exactly the best slot ever) but when I saw the crowd getting so Laut und Hart during our show time then I was relieved. It was among the Top 3 shows we played last summer for sure!
You are going to be on tour for nearly two months straight with Frozen Crown and then with Tragedy. What do you expect from these tours and how will your daily tour life look like?
Mr Baffo: Tarnished windows and joy, joy and tarnished windows.
Abdul: It will be incredible: I will work with my regular job during the day.
Gatto: I’ll be doing the same as Abdul, remotely working for the regular daytime job I have in Italy. I’m a data scientist.
Will you be “Sober” during the tour? What are your favourite drinks while touring?
Mr Baffo: my favorite drink is Energy drinks, and yes, we will be sober during the tour. But I can tell you this, personally, one of the things I love to do most at the end of a tour is to get drunk to infinity and beyond, but only at the end of our last gig.
Abdul: I know I’m so vicious and I would say: definitely Pineapple Juice!
Gatto: Ich werde nur Radler trinken.
What was the most funny, silly or hilarious moment of touring?
Mr Baffo: Oh man, I don’t know. There are so many hilarious moments in our tours that I think we are going to write a book sooner or later.
Abdul: Yes! Going from Milan to Rome to get an airplane to England, then discovering that I forgot the Passport home, getting back to Milan to take it, and having the flight back to Rome canceled.
Gatto: Not sleeping for three days in a row to play the Sabaton Open Air – Montelago – Rock’n’Beer festivals… so much fun and good memories!
Let’s conclude with our traditional brainstorming. What comes to your mind first when you read the following words?
Electric Callboy:
Mr Baffo: Avada Kedavra!
Gatto: Eskimo
Coffee:
Gatto: Michael Schumacher
Mr Baffo: Gastritis
Pizza:
Gatto: Aldimarkt
Mr Baffo: Mandolino
Mario:
Gatto: Mio cugino
Mr Baffo: Luigi
Best Movie-/Series-/Book-Universe:
Gatto: “La Rosa de Guadalupe”.
Mr Baffo: “Avengers”, “Harry Potter”.
Something that makes every bad day better:
Mr Baffo: Flying grandma.
Nanowar Of Steel in ten years:
Mr Baffo: Still Alive?
Gatto: Laut und Hard, Stark und Schnell!
Thank you once again for your time! The last words are all yours. Good luck with the new album and the tour!
Mr Baffo: Thank you for the interview! Thanks to all those who believe in us. Thanks to all the haters that give us the occasion to piss them off. And thank you Keanu Reeves for being my source of inspiration.
Abdul: Damn I have to switch to a call to make an interview for a Fullstack developer at my company. Shit I’m late!
Gatto: Danke an euch alle! Ich hoffe wir sehen uns bald wieder in Deutschland, dabei haben wir schon viele Festivalen und Konzerte vor, schau an www.nanowar.it/live. Bis in die Zukunft!
10. März 2023 Stefan Popp
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